Timid Love
by Cooljoe64
Summary: Butter's has never had luck with girls. Becoming ever more desperate, Cartman decides to help (After a fee of course) and decides to hook him up with Kenny's sister Karen Mccormick. How it all plays out is anyone's guess.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: As far as I know this is the first time a Butter Stotch and Karen Mccormick pairing has been done. The idea popped in my head when I realized how they both share some similarities and thought why not do this.

* * *

And so here he was; graduation was around the corner; it was like what, two weeks? Everyone seemed to have someone. Stan and Wendy, Kyle and Bebe, and other couples whose names no one cares about. However one little blonde boy was all alone, Butter's Stotch, dressed in a plan shirt, jeans, a gray sweater. He sighed, seeing that everyone had someone with them. Prom was right around the corner, not that he had any plans on going.

"What's up you lonely blonde"

As if anything could become more depressing, in Butter's world it did. Eric Cartman, the closes thing he had to a "friend" was walking towards him; all dressed in some pants, a shirt that said "Money Talks" and a track jacket that made him look athletic despite the fact he couldn't run a block.

"Oh, eh, hello Eric" he said meekly.

Cartman paid no attention, instead getting himself some punch.

"I can't wait for it Butters, soon senior year will be over, and I'll be a freeman" he said

It sounded like he was preparing to monologue and Butter's was not in the mood to hear, and chose to walk off, hearing Cartman grumble underneath his breath. He looked at the punch in his hand, and only sadness was what he had. He silently cursed, his nervous attitude and no backbone made him unwanted by girls in the school. And it only got worse with Cartmans constant "prep talk" and the fact Butter's would confide to him when it failed.

"And I getting desperate?" he asked himself, the dancing partiers paying him no heed.

It was true; with his failures with girls, he grew increasingly nervous to take any more risks and was finding himself turning to his "friend" more and more. Yea he notice Cartman laughed at him when he poured out his depressing life (He actually made a music video). But who else did he have? As he grew up, he realized his parents simply didn't care for him, there once domineering attitude turning in an uncaring we can't wait till your 18 one.

He took out a photo from his wallet, him in fourth grade with a golden necklace. It was when used to be the pimp of South Park. He often wondered where that old spark lied. The fact he was able to stand up for himself, to not be put down, too have the ability to command others, where were those features now? He could never find them again and he wished he could. Everyone respected him, and when he lost the spark, everyone rejected him.

"I'm so lonely" he muttered

"Well Butter's it looks like you need a friend, for just 50.00, I'll get someone to be your friend" said Cartman appearing out of nowhere which made him jolt and spill a bit of punch.

"I don't know Eric, last time it didn't work, in fact it's never worked, plus you always get that bus driver who makes me sad when I look at her"

"I promise it will be different, and come on, do you want to be lonely forever"

Butter's wanted to say no, to actually refuse Eric, but the little courage shriveled when he realized he lacked assertiveness to face him.

"Ok" he said reluctantly handing him 50 bucks.

"I promise you will not be disappointed" said Cartman holding the fifty dollar bill as if it was the Holy Grail.

And with that he sped off, leaving Butters to himself. Butter's prepared for whatever Eric would throw at him; he just prayed it would work out.

….

"Hey Stan, I'll give you five bucks if you hook up your sister with Butter's" shouted Cartman.

Stan almost wanted to punch him, nearly ruining his moment with Wendy. He sometimes wondered why he kept Cartman around but realized despite all his faults, it would be too weird to cut him out, similar to how they replaced Kenny.

"Dude my sisters in college, and she already has a boyfriend" he said obviously irritated.

Cartman stormed from before seeing Kyle.

"Bebe I will never understand how a perfect blonde like you will get yourself infected by the Jewish blood that runs within Kyle's veins"

"Fuck off Cartman"

He considered asking Bebe if she had any sisters but the look she was giving him told him otherwise. And for the next few minutes, he ran around, asking Craig, Jimmy, and even Token. But alas, either they said no way, or simply ignored him. He tried calling the Bus driver who ranted on how she was a failure, he thought he heard a gunshot, but was more focused on finding someone else. He then saw Kenny and his brother Kevin, both nearly drunk and laughing about the women they slept with.

"Hey Kenny, you got a sister don't you?" asked Cartman

"Um, maybe, shit I don't know, she rarely comes" he said slurring his words but trying to remember

"Well guess what, how bout I hook up your sister with Butters" he said in a business tone pointing towards a sulking Butter's.

Both Kevin and Kenny laughed, knowing how bad Butter's was with girls, and having Cartman trying to "help" only showed how bad the situation was.

"With that loser" screamed Kevin before bursting in a fit of laughter.

"Hey, I'll give you five dollars if you do this" said Cartman

Kenny briefly thought about this. Knowing that this date Cartman was doing wouldn't last, he agreed to it.

"Wow, you're seriously doing this?" asked Kevin

"Hey I just made five bucks and, oh my god, Kevin, doesn't Cartman look like that girl from sheetz.

In a few seconds they laughed pulling one another onto the floor. Cartman walked away, happy to only lose five dollars. And after Butter's failed again with, what was her name, Karen? He would find another way to profit from him. Opening his wallet, he saw numerous 10s, 20s, 50s, and even 100's he gotten from Butters.

"Maybe I should major in business?" he thought to himself.

* * *

Well hope this pairing takes off. It I know Karen has only appeared in I think three episodes?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2...

* * *

"Hey mom, I'm home"

"Ok"

He had gotten home from the party, and just stepping into the house reminded him how unwanted he was. His mom was staring at her iPad, and obviously trying to ignore her only son. Knowing the drill, he went upstairs into his room, seeing his dad waiting nearby.

"Here you go Butter's, a lot of college opportunities, plan ahead" he said before walking off.

He sighed, for he knew the message behind it; in a few weeks he would be 18 and his parents would kick him out. The fact they were even bothering him with college was a blessing…well sort of. Shutting the door behind him, he went to his desk and opened his laptop, reading through a few emails, seeing some news and…..yea nothing new. He minimized all the windows, seeing his background that of that we he was famous author. So he took credit for one book, well they deserved it since they had planned to pin the blame on him (yea he learned that it wasn't because of his sleep).

But hey the real novel he wrote was successful, that was an accomplishment.

"Only all the Kardashians got shot" he reminded him.

He took out his phone, now begging it to ring; to hear Cartman's plan for the hook up despite a horrible track record.

"Come on Eric, don't fail me now" he pleaded to his phone

…

"So yet, hot face, saggy tits" bellowed Kevin before he and his brother laughed again, swaying the pickup truck they were driving.

Cartman sat in the back, annoyed of the smell the seats produced, a mixture of cigarettes and beer. He leaned back into the seat only to find a two year old burger squeeze itself from the seats. Further disgusting him, he considered abandoning the whole plan. He could easily get many of the homeless, not like Butter's would complain. Then he could exploit the ever growing depression and make even more money. A thought came when he remembered his many 10 million dollar schemes and then realized, why not bigger?

Yes, there were lots of lonely men in the world, desperate to pay anything; and he could make a lot of money, especially the way he did business, ah money…The truck came to a rough stop forcing him to focus again

"Were here Cartman, now get out before your ass makes a permanent mark on my seats."

"Are you worried about the mark or the fact your too poor to buy a new one Kenny" responded Cartman with a smug grin.

"At least my mom ain't a stripper"

"Fuck you"

…

Despite the argument, the trio went into the rundown house. Cartman already felt ill, seeing the walls coated in numerous stuff, the lights and fans barely hanging in there, the smell of a stronger sense of alcohol and smoke. The carpet stained, dirty, and wait, where those roaches?

'_Ugh, poor people'_ thought Cartman.

While Kevin proceeded to vomit in the bathroom, Kenny somehow managed to make it upstairs, and Cartman merely stood. No way would he sit down, the car was bad enough. Time started to tick, an hour going by; making him more and more annoyed. Getting over his disgust for the place, he went upstairs, only to see Kenny passed out on the very top. Whining to himself, and nearly pissed, he kept on walking through the halls, opening and closing doors until he finally found one.

There was Karin, messy brown hair, wearing a jacket way too big for her and some ripped jeans (and no not the stylish ones). She seemed to be reading a book but he didn't care. Instead he cleared his throat for his business voice.

"Hello Ms. Karin Mccormick" he said bashing in making her jolt. "As you know I'm Eric Cartman and you look lonely. For just 9.99 plus 245% interest, I'll make your social life go from zero to hero!"

"I don't have any money" she replied, obvious anger in her voice, but as usual, Cartman was only concerned with one thing, money.

"That's ok we can do credit, I'm sure poor people like you use lots of credit so just Gahahah"

Before he knew it, a well propelled kicked slammed against the check board and ran against his stomach before being knocked down.

"Get the hell out!" she demanded

Cartman picked himself up, trying hard with his entire ego not to show the pain.

"Puff, not my fault you people make up 45% of the welfare population, maybe if your dad got a real job, you wouldn't be so dam ugly" he shot before bailing and heading outside before she knew it.

Karen slammed the door before retreating to her bed where she dove right into her book. A knock on the door made her frustrated and she thought it was Cartman coming back but when it opened it was Kenny, she briefly smiled before she realized he was drunk and her already bad mood became worse.

"What was all that yelling and screaming?" he asked clearly concerned but seemed on the verge of passing out.

"Why did you have to bring him here, he doesn't even like you" she asked.

She could never get the relationship between Cartman and the rest. An asshole he was, and yet they kept him around.

"Oh well you know, he's a friend, and yea" he yawned already forgetting the question she asked him but then remembered something.

"Oh, Cartman wanted to do a hook you up with a data"

"Oh so he can capture on camera on how we are destroying the country, no way!" she shot

She tried to read her book, to have something as a distraction, but after her anger, her curiosity grew and after initial hesitation, she asked.

"Just wondering, who was he going to set me up with?"

"Butters" Kenny mumbled before falling over and passing out for the night.


End file.
